31 October 2009 - Hallo Helloween
Halloween falls on a Saturday for the year, which simply means its party time for many people. an enjoyable occasion, but I've never celebrated it before.
Vampires don't exist for as far as I've known. monsters have probably gone extinct. bats are going vegetarian. the dead will not be raised up again. my eyes can't see spirits. skeletons can't move on its own. you don't hear high pitch screams during the night (if there is, then maybe you can see someone getting raped?join in the fun perhaps)
but anyway, my point is - Halloween is just people scaring people, probably a form of celebration to gather and have fun wearing customized costumes and hanging out in a party area to party the night away. since I don't go clubbing (or rather haven't been to, since I'm intending to when the time comes), Halloween is just an ordinary day for me.
The weather for the past few days is strange though, but I love that sensation. that chill that gives me the thrill, cold air which makes my blood going all excited...how do I explain it...lets just say...I feel cold, but I'm enjoying it entirely.
my mood is calm and cool, like the weather...probably a good thing. I wouldn't care less about anything else, at least for now that is.
and a moron who wants things his way, acting all juvenile. damn, I've realised I said such things umpteen times. I would have laughed at it sometimes.
Vampires don't exist for as far as I've known. monsters have probably gone extinct. bats are going vegetarian. the dead will not be raised up again. my eyes can't see spirits. skeletons can't move on its own. you don't hear high pitch screams during the night (if there is, then maybe you can see someone getting raped?
but anyway, my point is - Halloween is just people scaring people, probably a form of celebration to gather and have fun wearing customized costumes and hanging out in a party area to party the night away. since I don't go clubbing (or rather haven't been to, since I'm intending to when the time comes), Halloween is just an ordinary day for me.
The weather for the past few days is strange though, but I love that sensation. that chill that gives me the thrill, cold air which makes my blood going all excited...how do I explain it...lets just say...I feel cold, but I'm enjoying it entirely.
my mood is calm and cool, like the weather...probably a good thing. I wouldn't care less about anything else, at least for now that is.
and a moron who wants things his way, acting all juvenile. damn, I've realised I said such things umpteen times. I would have laughed at it sometimes.
Labels: random
As Good As DEAD on 2:56 am
28 October 2009 - Too Exhausting to Keep Up
whenever I go gym and for training together in 1 day, it beats the shit out of me, like my soul's almost dead. its so tiring to the extent I can even doze off while standing and leaning the wall/door of the train. the worse thing is the next day is 8am lesson, can I even wake up on time and go to school.
always faced with facepalm-ed situations, but whats the big deal? just stop kicking such a fuss about it, it makes you so juvenile.
and damn, why can't I just hit more than 12? its as though the limit's kinda there. gonna try more than 12 next week.
always faced with facepalm-ed situations, but whats the big deal? just stop kicking such a fuss about it, it makes you so juvenile.
and damn, why can't I just hit more than 12? its as though the limit's kinda there. gonna try more than 12 next week.
Labels: random
As Good As DEAD on 10:08 pm
27 October 2009 - Forward Thoughts
on the way back home during the train ride, sitting in a corner and dozing off, I had many thoughts when I was more than half asleep. I don't know how to put it, but it made me wanna abandon my pride for a moment when I thought of certain stuffs. I've actually made little plans for the later months to come. stupid as it seems, but yeah...thats how life works for me.
and yes, I'm moving forward, extremely slowly now, like a snail. its a good thing to know, at least I'm not stepping back. and having a buddy who always laugh can really lighten my mood.
off to take a nap now. Party time tonight.
and yes, I'm moving forward, extremely slowly now, like a snail. its a good thing to know, at least I'm not stepping back. and having a buddy who always laugh can really lighten my mood.
off to take a nap now. Party time tonight.
Labels: random
As Good As DEAD on 5:32 pm
26 October 2009 - Music Express Feelings
the reason why I love music is because, I don't have to tell anyone so much how I feel sometimes. just a song, that perfectly suits the mood would do. it would describe everything. Thats the cool thing about listening to radio, like 987FM (oh man I'm actually making small advertisements about them)
so much for expressing myself back then. this song would just fit perfectly.
Just Jack - The Day I Die
I can't help but laugh at it.
Try having your own style, and get laughed at, when you got humiliated once, and then try to make a nuisance out of yourself again. in a good point of view, thats called being optimistic. but the majority however, feel it otherwise - seek attention and asking people to laugh at her. I'm the majority though, because I'm Pisces who goes with the flow.
so much for expressing myself back then. this song would just fit perfectly.
Just Jack - The Day I Die
Labels: random
As Good As DEAD on 1:47 am
25 October 2009 - PCK Teaser to You-know-who
I can't help but laugh at it.
Try having your own style, and get laughed at, when you got humiliated once, and then try to make a nuisance out of yourself again. in a good point of view, thats called being optimistic. but the majority however, feel it otherwise - seek attention and asking people to laugh at her. I'm the majority though, because I'm Pisces who goes with the flow.
Labels: just for laughs
As Good As DEAD on 9:45 pm
25 October 2009 - Time Only Moves Forward
few days of resting, all the thoughts were nothing but past tense. the decisions made were with many faults which could not be undone, with that weak-mental willpower, I could do nothing but blamed everyone involved including myself. I would laugh about it when I thought of it again.
there were so many "whys" during that time, but really, is there any point into thinking about why it happened that way? especially when you can't turn back time and make a second decision. I felt stupid enough to look back again and again, questioning myself repeatedly. for 10 months, I did nothing but fret over it, losing all guts, create fear in myself.
"Time only moves forward" afterall. Memories, be it beautiful or ugly, they are past tense. subconsciously, everyone will think about it occasionally, with a time limit set on it, that is till they get distracted by something else. yes, so why not just slog till you're so dead tired and the only thing you can do when you reach home is to just sleep and pray that you do not dream at all, waiting for the next day to come, repeating the cycle.
Being an Ass gets you in trouble. Being Too good gets you Killed as time goes by.
there were so many "whys" during that time, but really, is there any point into thinking about why it happened that way? especially when you can't turn back time and make a second decision. I felt stupid enough to look back again and again, questioning myself repeatedly. for 10 months, I did nothing but fret over it, losing all guts, create fear in myself.
"Time only moves forward" afterall. Memories, be it beautiful or ugly, they are past tense. subconsciously, everyone will think about it occasionally, with a time limit set on it, that is till they get distracted by something else. yes, so why not just slog till you're so dead tired and the only thing you can do when you reach home is to just sleep and pray that you do not dream at all, waiting for the next day to come, repeating the cycle.
Being an Ass gets you in trouble. Being Too good gets you Killed as time goes by.
Labels: thoughts
As Good As DEAD on 3:41 am
22 October 2009 - Its Just Not Right
looking at the way things are, my mental willpower is feeling weak towards someone, and that I can't stop thinking about certain matters in my mind. headed to gym with Samuel, and I had a great time pushing myself to the limit, and I guess same goes for him.
after telling a story to him, I felt lighter and more refreshed, thinking what I should plan to do next. I can't afford to make any mistakes, because at this point of time, it is extremely crucial for me, choices with many possibilities, as well as the consequences of each possibility.
I have that fear I've always felt uneasy with. it draws closer now, and I can't tell whether I'm the only one feeling that uneasiness. I mean...I can never think whatever the others are thinking, only to know that I've dragged myself to a state that I would only bring bits of troubles to those closer to me.
Yes, the guilt was there, after I heard the news. it was afterall, the Vanity blood in me plus the personality I have that brings me to where I currently am. and so Sam said something like "The value of losing that amount, and theres the value that you gained."
I've gained only a bit of what I want, and had lost almost the rest of everything, and I realised that the small value I hold is worth me losing the rest of what I used to have, and that I've come to know that this Pride I hold makes me someone who will not bow down to others, except my parents, not even some of my close friends would I bow down and apologize if I find myself not at fault after times of reflections and asking others their opinions into whatever that happened, to confirm my conclusion is right.
This pride I have since young, may bring me to a path of destruction in the future due to the strong stubborness, but at the same time having a good willpower and determination into making the decisions I truly want in the next phase of my path. But all these while, I've no regrets having it, because I hate embarrassment (excluding being embarrassed in a funny way). however, there are still people who accept me for who I am, I do not know the reason, but I'm definitely not alone, and they are the ones who made me realise that.
to break through this uneasiness, for once, I would abandon this Pride for someone other than my parents. and thus, since the dreadful months has passed and is still going on, it is time for me to make an initiation one last time. no matter what the conclusion is, I just want no regrets anymore, even though it may not be right. this shall be a fight against my own willpower.
We can make a difference in each others' lives, experience pains and grow from there.
after telling a story to him, I felt lighter and more refreshed, thinking what I should plan to do next. I can't afford to make any mistakes, because at this point of time, it is extremely crucial for me, choices with many possibilities, as well as the consequences of each possibility.
I have that fear I've always felt uneasy with. it draws closer now, and I can't tell whether I'm the only one feeling that uneasiness. I mean...I can never think whatever the others are thinking, only to know that I've dragged myself to a state that I would only bring bits of troubles to those closer to me.
Yes, the guilt was there, after I heard the news. it was afterall, the Vanity blood in me plus the personality I have that brings me to where I currently am. and so Sam said something like "The value of losing that amount, and theres the value that you gained."
I've gained only a bit of what I want, and had lost almost the rest of everything, and I realised that the small value I hold is worth me losing the rest of what I used to have, and that I've come to know that this Pride I hold makes me someone who will not bow down to others, except my parents, not even some of my close friends would I bow down and apologize if I find myself not at fault after times of reflections and asking others their opinions into whatever that happened, to confirm my conclusion is right.
This pride I have since young, may bring me to a path of destruction in the future due to the strong stubborness, but at the same time having a good willpower and determination into making the decisions I truly want in the next phase of my path. But all these while, I've no regrets having it, because I hate embarrassment (excluding being embarrassed in a funny way). however, there are still people who accept me for who I am, I do not know the reason, but I'm definitely not alone, and they are the ones who made me realise that.
to break through this uneasiness, for once, I would abandon this Pride for someone other than my parents. and thus, since the dreadful months has passed and is still going on, it is time for me to make an initiation one last time. no matter what the conclusion is, I just want no regrets anymore, even though it may not be right. this shall be a fight against my own willpower.
We can make a difference in each others' lives, experience pains and grow from there.
Labels: thoughts
As Good As DEAD on 12:29 am
19 October 2009 - The Accursed Date
it seems that, I got killed again.
when I realised the truth, its already too late, theres no turning back now.
I swear, this couldn't be more painful than anything else.
when I realised the truth, its already too late, theres no turning back now.
I swear, this couldn't be more painful than anything else.
Labels: pains
As Good As DEAD on 1:46 am
19 October 2009 - Last Start
school's reopening tomorrow, I can't imagine how fast the holidays ended. FYP's a goner, and theres many more stuffs coming. last semester already, but I'm not giving my all, for I've half given up the hope of entering University. disappoint myself, and probably my parents yes. but I'm kinda tired after 2.5 years of struggling with studies as I reflected back everything from the start, including non-school stuffs.
I have no idea whether I'm the only one reminiscing, but someone did search back my past using certain names. but all I could say is, Life's kinda different now. people can detest me, hate me, but if it's nothing that gets in my way, I wouldn't really bother, behaving childishly despite being old enough to work in the society.
I have no idea if I'm able to struggle for the last 4 months, but if I give it my all, how would I fare again? I'm happy enough with the fact that I A-ed all my maths, my strongest subject since I started studying, thanks to the habit of counting money when I was young (does it really help by the way). but definitely, I'm just being lucky as well, because despite the poor results I got before the final exam, I managed to pull myself up a grade higher. now that Maths is over, part of my aim has achieved as well.
looking back at the timetable, its horrible on Mondays. its a nightmare for weeks with practicals. I'm only worried that I would tire myself too much though, to put so many things together at once, and that I'm kinda short of time, to sleep that is.
We'll see again after 3 horrible weeks.
NAPFA Training begins ! and its time to sleep to get ready for first day of school, doing stupid practicals.
PS late note: Happy Birthday Beatrice ! Enjoy your last year of youth. LOL.
I have no idea whether I'm the only one reminiscing, but someone did search back my past using certain names. but all I could say is, Life's kinda different now. people can detest me, hate me, but if it's nothing that gets in my way, I wouldn't really bother, behaving childishly despite being old enough to work in the society.
I have no idea if I'm able to struggle for the last 4 months, but if I give it my all, how would I fare again? I'm happy enough with the fact that I A-ed all my maths, my strongest subject since I started studying, thanks to the habit of counting money when I was young (does it really help by the way). but definitely, I'm just being lucky as well, because despite the poor results I got before the final exam, I managed to pull myself up a grade higher. now that Maths is over, part of my aim has achieved as well.
looking back at the timetable, its horrible on Mondays. its a nightmare for weeks with practicals. I'm only worried that I would tire myself too much though, to put so many things together at once, and that I'm kinda short of time, to sleep that is.
We'll see again after 3 horrible weeks.
NAPFA Training begins ! and its time to sleep to get ready for first day of school, doing stupid practicals.
PS late note: Happy Birthday Beatrice ! Enjoy your last year of youth. LOL.
Labels: school
As Good As DEAD on 12:52 am
15 October 2009 - Fairy Tail
after waiting for so long, its out at last !
First episode aired on 12 October, which means its on a Monday, and probably be subbed the next day.
Watched the first episode, and the way spells are cast, two words to describe - DAMN COOL. I never regretted watching the manga, but the anime is even better like duh !
some screenshots for you people to take a look yourself.
Pwned.
Life sucks, but Fairy Tail would make it better.
First episode aired on 12 October, which means its on a Monday, and probably be subbed the next day.
Watched the first episode, and the way spells are cast, two words to describe - DAMN COOL. I never regretted watching the manga, but the anime is even better like duh !
some screenshots for you people to take a look yourself.
Pwned.
Life sucks, but Fairy Tail would make it better.
Labels: topics and news
As Good As DEAD on 12:21 am
11 October 2009 - Drastic Change
sometimes, shit happens. in a light mood feeling relaxed and easy, there are certain things which can suddenly cause a drastic change.
I asked myself, why is it so unfair sometimes?
there are few delightful things which I can't throw, and loads of heavy boulders that I can't get rid of. can I have a brainwash? yeah, FML with that thought, unless I get into some accident and get amnesia then yeah, an indirect brainwash. in exchange of not being able to remember that few things to be happy about, I can actually not dwell on much more things.
as I read one of my friend's blog, describing life to be like a game of chess, I thought for awhile, and yes I agreed. because in life, we gain some, we lose some. in order to win in a game of chess, sacrifices can't be avoided, and thus have to be made.
out of the many pawns in the chess, in order for a few to advance, the rest needs to be eliminated in order to achieve the objective. so in other words, it has become a matter of who is to be the one advancing, and who are the ones to be sacrificed.
as each day comes closer, I get more frustrated, even though it's just a mere 4 months+ because I'm much busier than I usually am now, and that I have to plan my time perfectly, just like planning a strategy for chess.
my thoughts need to be clear, or rather I must not be careless somehow.
I know I won't have an answer to my question, but I'm a forever a fool who carries faith and hope.
I asked myself, why is it so unfair sometimes?
there are few delightful things which I can't throw, and loads of heavy boulders that I can't get rid of. can I have a brainwash? yeah, FML with that thought, unless I get into some accident and get amnesia then yeah, an indirect brainwash. in exchange of not being able to remember that few things to be happy about, I can actually not dwell on much more things.
as I read one of my friend's blog, describing life to be like a game of chess, I thought for awhile, and yes I agreed. because in life, we gain some, we lose some. in order to win in a game of chess, sacrifices can't be avoided, and thus have to be made.
out of the many pawns in the chess, in order for a few to advance, the rest needs to be eliminated in order to achieve the objective. so in other words, it has become a matter of who is to be the one advancing, and who are the ones to be sacrificed.
as each day comes closer, I get more frustrated, even though it's just a mere 4 months+ because I'm much busier than I usually am now, and that I have to plan my time perfectly, just like planning a strategy for chess.
my thoughts need to be clear, or rather I must not be careless somehow.
I know I won't have an answer to my question, but I'm a forever a fool who carries faith and hope.
As Good As DEAD on 4:59 am
08 October 2009 - Life a Repetition
Life has been a repetition for me. training for 2 days, rest 1 day, work 2 days, play 2 days, or maybe just a bit of adjustment abit here and there, but its roughly the same, and time flies really fast.
School timetable is out, apparently it sucks, because haven put in elective yet. my FYP is gone case for real. cannot start yet -_-
not really been enjoying myself, because theres too few hangouts/gatherings for a holiday. everyone's so busy with their own stuffs, ok actually that includes me too, since I only have time during the weekend.
I can foresee whatever that is coming soon, as usual its never good of course so...whatever la huh.
Kelvin Yeo (Mista Badass)
Up till 19.
Pisces. 24 Feb is when you get to call me old man
I'm your typical short guy living next door
Adaptive to everywhere I am in
My eyes can talk
But do you understand its language?
The Mirror-Effect Guy
(Attitude-Reflections Treatments)
Come Find Out Yourself
And The Music Goes
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School timetable is out, apparently it sucks, because haven put in elective yet. my FYP is gone case for real. cannot start yet -_-
not really been enjoying myself, because theres too few hangouts/gatherings for a holiday. everyone's so busy with their own stuffs, ok actually that includes me too, since I only have time during the weekend.
I can foresee whatever that is coming soon, as usual its never good of course so...whatever la huh.
Labels: random
As Good As DEAD on 8:38 pm
1 October 2009 - Earth Shake
my house was shaking, and I heard there was a huge earthquake. I thought my head was spinning but apparently I wasn't the only one who felt it.
and now, at this time, I asked my friend who experienced the shake earlier on, and he said no. conclusion was, I felt giddy, and my head is spinning~
and now, at this time, I asked my friend who experienced the shake earlier on, and he said no. conclusion was, I felt giddy, and my head is spinning~
Labels: random
As Good As DEAD on 12:33 am
The Cursed
Kelvin Yeo (Mista Badass)
Up till 19.
Pisces. 24 Feb is when you get to call me old man
I'm your typical short guy living next door
Adaptive to everywhere I am in
My eyes can talk
But do you understand its language?
The Mirror-Effect Guy
(Attitude-Reflections Treatments)
Come Find Out Yourself
And The Music Goes
Current Mood
Link blog if you wish to
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